my childhood crush was "JTT".

yes. I was officially a member of the jonathan taylor thomas fan club. with quality films like home improvement, wild america, the adventures of tom and huck, and the lion king, who wouldn't be? I'm curious to know if that fan club membership guarantees me for life, or if it even exists anymore.

other guilty tidbits-
- I have a strange love for terrible music...more specifically terrible rap, pop, and your classic oldies hits.
- An ESPN classic I will always watch is the World's Strongest Man Competition. With gruff-voiced commentators announcing "minor" injuries like popped biceps, I can't help but be sucked in. Mariusz Pudzianowski will always be the number 1 "freak show" in my heart.


I'm no amazing friend to anyone below the age of 5, but tonight, for the first time in my life, I felt at home with a baby in myarms. with the strong desire to go to sleep and the idea to cry about the fact he hadn't done it yet, Bryce had been randomly shreiking in my ear and drooling on my shirt for an hour and a half. after numerous attempts to play with anything and everything, change diapers, and be put into a normal sleeping position, he wasn't having it anymore, and neither was I. it was the usual curse that haunts me when I get around younger children, that they hate me, and compared to the thought of me entertaining them, suicide would've been what they opted for had they known what it was. it was miserable and heartbreaking to see that the happeist baby (on a regular basis) I've ever seen was incredibly upset, and it was all my fault...at least that's what said curse led me to believe. ready to cry and go find his mom, I was left at a stand off with my last resort. I pulled every quality, non-explicit song I could think of out of my book of "cheesy songs most people shouldn't know the words to" and I sang to this poor child. fearing that it hurt him more than it hurt me, we started with the classic "rock a bye baby" and, after 10ish rounds of that, moved onto the patriotic songs my grandma used to hum when she was frustrated with any family member, including herself. he started to quiet down, and eyelashes quickly fluttered to a close as I sang this baby to sleep. breathing a deep sigh of relief, I'd avoided the headache that was working its way into my night and had almost sung myself to sleep as well. it seemed as if the curse was completely removed from my system, and feeling it all happen was one of the better moments of my life.

it's nice to think that I could be a mom one day. who knows...I might even be a good one.

i need to start letting people know i think about them when i think about them and not let the memories fall by the wayside.

I'm slowly deciding what to do with my life...the one that starts when I graduate. I've been looking up interesting things about Austin and falling in love with it more and more each day. It's weird to think that that time in my life is advancing so quickly; I'm not even 20, and yet in a year I'll be a college graduate. Saving up for furniture, a future apartment, realizing that my parents won't be my financial support forever. I don't know what it means to be on my own, nor am I ready to find out. I guess I'll experience it soon enough...better enjoy the safety while it lasts.

There are things about people that one learns over time, like things they're passionate about or what their favorite snack is or what they feel when they listen to a certain song. It's things like that that make me miss the people I love...and some I don't. One of the best things about getting to know friends is discovering those things about them that make them unique--the quirky thing they do that might usually go unnoticed.



I notice.

i've inherited a knack for puzzles.

if life were as simple as these puzzles, maybe I'd be better at it. I wonder whose place I'd rather be in...his or mine.

i have geographic tongue

and this week, it looks like this.

gross, right? in case you're wondering about this whole "disease", as it looks, the lighter portion in the middle of the tongue is what color the whole thing is supposed to be. the "raw patches" are caused and placed at random due to God knows what...usually stress. I didn't think I was that stressed out...apparently my stress is out of control. for those of you who may now be discouraged to eat/drink after me, have no worries. it's not contagious. I'm not real sure why I got it in the first place...I guess that's what a senior year in high school will do to you.


today feels like another one of those days needed to be spent by myself. I'm not in the mood to see people...not because I don't appreciate them being present in my life and not because I need a reflective day. I think about my life enough already. in fact, I'm now making the decision to think about other people's lives over mine. it's much nicer to see that those around me are happy.actually, I'm not sure where this mood comes from, but its here.


it's beautiful outside minus the slight chill, and thoughts stirring within me say to hell with my bad knees, and that it's a perfect day for a "hard day" run out on Cypress...pushing myself to the limit and running down hills so fast it doesn't feel like I'm running. it feels like a day for accomplishing things, and yet, I have work that I should be at now and a basketball game I refuse to not attend.

so now, after an accomplishing day at work, I feel better about things and am looking forward to what this evening might lend. basketball is in roughly 30 minutes, and I'm stoked. why do I love it so much? I don't know, but it's hard to find a better feeling than chills from a close, winning game. to celebrate with others in their success. to be present in that moment. if only we had more supportive fans.

speaking of fans, I'm watching the "Super Bowl Sports Center", and they just did a pan of the crowd of fans. in the midst of da Bears fans was a man in a Marlins jersey. wrong sport, wrong state, wrong jersey. as I keep telling myself, "get it together."